The Partnership of Marriage

“A partnership is an arrangement where parties, known as partners, agree to cooperate to advance their mutual interests.” – Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Partnership)

Most people think of a partnership in a business sense but if you think about it, this can apply to a marriage. Two people agree to be legally bound to each other for one purpose: the purpose of living a happy life together – sounds a lot like a partnership to me. Just like in business, not all partnerships work out as planned so either the partners decide to keep moving forward or they decide to end the partnership.

Entering into a marriage partnership can be great when you have a basic understanding of yourself, your partner and the “mutual interests”. This doesn’t mean you both will have all the same interests but it does mean that you will need to acknowledge them, respect them and compromise when necessary. I have been married for almost 16 years now so I know a little bit about the basic concepts of marriage.

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Below is a list of things I have learned along the way:

• God brought us together, let no man tear us apart. This means don’t allow anyone to drive a wedge into your marriage. No matter if it’s family, friends or other people, you made the decision to enter this partnership and you have to be the one to decide whether to stay in it or not. Sometimes we have to understand what we don’t want in a relationship to understand what we do want so this is why we don’t always get it right the first time. This don’t mean you have to shut people completely out but if you talk to someone about your relationship, it needs to be with someone who will look at it in a nonjudgmental way. A lot of times when you get others involved in your relationship, they develop negative feelings about the situation and they express these feelings to you which in return causes a wedge. They start giving you negative advice or look at the other partner as being the bad one. In truth you really aren’t looking for someone to be on your side but you are wanting to vent or to see it from a different point of view when you talk to someone other than your partner. Communication with your partner and trust in your partner are key elements in a marriage.
• Your partner’s job is not to make you happy 100% of the time for the rest of your life. Who would want to sign up for that? That is borderline slavery because if your partner is busy making sure you are completely happy then where does your partner’s happiness come into play? Basically what I am saying is don’t rely on anyone else for your happiness. You need to find happiness within yourself first, your partner needs to find happiness within their self first and then you both come together to make an extraordinary life full of happy experiences. If you rely on someone else to make you happy then you will never know what true happiness is and how great your relationship can be.
• For better or for worse actually means it’s not always going to be a fairy tale but that doesn’t mean it won’t be worth it. Marriage is like a roller coaster with ups, downs, hoops and twists but you have to remember to enjoy the ride. Use the downs as learning opportunities and focus more on the ups. Thinking about some of your happiest times during your marriage will help you when you are experiencing some of the worst. “This too shall pass” and your focus needs to be on the next up.
• Understand the differences between males and females. I’m not talking about the physical differences but the mental and emotional differences. Men don’t always react to situations the same way that women do or the way we think they should. Men process information differently but that doesn’t mean they don’t care about you or your feelings. It took years for my husband to understand that most of my fears could be subsided just by him holding me and ensuring me that everything would be okay. Sounds like a simple concept but it took time for him to process it. Men usually feel more emotionally connected through the physical aspect of a relationship where women connect through verbal and action oriented connection (hugs, kisses and cuddles while having a loving conversation). It doesn’t mean either is shallow or weak; it means you have different needs. You can research and read all types of material to help you get this basic understanding.

• Know your partner personally. I have learned over the years that nothing good comes from engaging in a controversial situation when we are both mad. He knows what buttons to push (as do I) but I have learned over the years not to react so swiftly. I acknowledge the situation and I wait until I feel that he is in a place that he can actually listen to my feelings towards the situation as I try to express them in the most positive way. This keeps the communication at a level of conversation verses an argument. Over time you will learn your partner’s body language so that you know when something is bothering them even when nothing is said. Knowing this allows you to open up the lines of communication and trust with your partner. I know my husband’s strengths and his weaknesses just as he knows mine. We actually compliment each other in that aspect. I know what he likes and what he don’t like so I respect that just as he respects mine. We don’t have to like all the same things but we do try to find some middle ground so we can share the things we like with each other. It’s a give and take with the agreement that neither of us is going to just take, take, take while the other one does all the giving.
• Marriage is a partnership. I love you and you love me so we need to work together as a team. It’s us together conquering the world as one. It’s not us against each other because nothing can be achieved by arguing or blaming each other. Working as a team allows us to be each others support and comfort when the weather is bad. I know my husband will be there for me just as I am for him. It may not always be 50/50 but we both agreed to put in 100 percent effort to love each other regardless of the situation. The situation will pass but keeping love at the core of everything helps build a strong partnership.

There are plenty of things that you will learn throughout your marriage but these are some key concepts that can help you along the journey of creating a beautiful partnership.

If you liked the post or would like to share more about how marriages make great partnerships, please leave a comment below. Don’t forget to sign up for my weekly email on the home page and as always have a blessed day!